>two weeks ago
>at the bar playing darts
>pretty drunk
>3/10 fat trap bitch walks up with fagtard friend
>in deepest voice I've ever heard she requests next game
>"well clearly you don't have a feminine penis"
>they both stare at me
>"wtf did you just say to me"
>I asked, "well, do you have a feminine penis or not?"
>her friend steps in
>200% gayest voice I've ever heard
>"faggot detected"
>he tries to sucker punch me
>he misses and I punch him in the jaw
>laying on ground bleeding
>girl runs off to get bartender
>crowd gathering
>girl is crying hate crime
>starts telling everybody what I said
>bartender comes over
>"check 'em, faggot"
>bartender gets pissed
>calls me a homophobe and demands I leave now
>"what the fuck did you just say about me you little bitch?"
>"I'll have you know I graduated top..."
>bartender pops me in the mouth
>grabs me by the neck and drags me towards the door
>get outside
>crowd has followed
>cops already there
>cops ask my name
>"Pepe. Rare Pepe"
>they look confused and annoyed
>I repeat it
>"Son, what are you on right now?"
>I reply, "dank memes, sir"
>cops misheard, think I said dank weed
>immediately get slammed to ground by cops
>they're going on about how I'm drunk and high in public and starting fights
>"I said dank memes, fucking newfags"
>cop punches me in the back of the head
>wake up hours later in a jail cell
>list of charges include inciting a riot, hate crimes against members of the LGBTQ community, public drunkeness, and assaulting a police officer.
