>it's my twelfth birthday
>which means it's my Choice Day
>pretty nervous because I know it's a huge deal, but I haven't given it much thought
>me and dad sit down at the kitchen table
>he shows me two pictures
>one is a shirtless brad Pitt
>the other is giselle bundchen wearing a bra and panties
>"which one gets your dick hard, anon?"
>neither one does
>"spit it out, anon! which one?"
>i tell him the truth
>he looks very concerned
>"maybe you'd prefer something...um...different"
>shows me a picture of Bailey jay
>she has a penis
>dadwhatthefuck.jpg
>definitely not that one
>dad is looking really worried
>he shows me another picture
>"what about...this one?"
>it's a naked woman covered in shit
>seriouslydadwhatthefuck.png
>definitely not that one
>dad looks like he's about to have a panic attack
>he shows me one last picture
>it's a 12 year old girl
>kinda looks like this girl from my history class
>and then it hits me
>she's cute
>like, really cute
>i start thinking about what it would be like to go to a movie with her
>all of a sudden, dick is diamonds
>I tell him that's the one
>MFW dad kicks me out of the house for being something called a "pedophile"
