Britfag goes to murica

>Be britfag visiting family in 'murica 
>Always fun being here over 4th... no.
>Stepmom wants to go to the county fair... fuck it
>Get there, park up, first thing I see is fucking elephants
>Fucking elephants
>Elephants bouncing around, balancing on stools doing shit elephants aren't about
>Spazzing the fuck out because of said elephants. 
>Stepmom views this as normal county fair activity
>Walk around looking at rednecks having fun etcetc
>Get a beer, get fucking asked for ID (look about 30...) 
>Walk around looking at animals cause fucking animals
>See a yellow stand in the distance with pictures of monkeys
>Monkeys riding dogs
>MONKEYS RIDING DOGS
>Wut.
>Spend whole time completely confused by the notion
>Amerifags going nuts for monkeys riding dogs... still wut
>Fucking hungry so look for food
>What in the fuck? 
>Can't even describe what type of food you weird fucks even describe as food
>Stepmom calls it "fair food"
>My fucking nutsack that is related to food
>Go home, neighbour comes over and asks us to fireworks
>Get to his house, bunch of hillbillies getting fucked off beer thats like 0.000002% 
>Drink well over 9000
>Get all the redneck ladies creaming for my accent
>Rednecks love the accent
>All rednecks get too drunk 
>Either pass out, drive home or go to bed
>Go home

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Cousin is Weeaboo

>be me
>living casually with my grandparents because my parents are shitlords
>but no we arent here to talk about them
>there are more pressing matters
>3 days ago my cousin came over after the power got knocked out (We're from NJ so that storm knocked his power out.)
>lets call him Shea
>Shea brings over his xbox, breathing heavily
>says he needs to get on live and play halo and cod 
>not particularly fond of either of those games but i nod
>before i go, he utters forbidden words
>"hey, do you wonder what it would be like to live in japan with all the anime stuff wouldnt it be cool"
>no
>NO
>MY COUSIN IS WEEABOO TRASH
>later confirmed this while we were out to eat
>asks if we heard about the "anime maid" cafe in new york or if we like that vocaloid weeb shit
>grandparents have no idea what the fuck he's talking about but they act interested
>goes on again how he's going to move to japan when he's 18
>i'm silently screaming in my head, acting like im not paying attention
>he looks over at me "do you watch sword art online"
>fuckitmadecontactwhatdoido
>shake my head and ask what it is
>i've made a terrible mistake

He spent the rest of the night trying to talk to me about hentai

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