>I was only 9 years old
>I loved Russel Coight so much, I had all the merchandise and dvds
>I pray to Russel Coight night before bed, thanking him for the life I’ve been given
>"Russel Coight is love" I say; “Russel Coight is life”
>My dad hears me and calls me a faggot
>I know he was just jealous of my devotion for Russel Coight
>I called him a cunt
>He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep
>I’m crying now, and my face hurts
>I lay in bed and it’s really cold
>Suddenly, a warmth is moving towards me
>It’s Russel Coight
>I am so happy
>He whispers into my ear “This is my outback.”
>He grabs me with his powerful blistered hands and puts me down onto my hands and knees
>I’m ready
>I spread my ass-cheeks for Russel Coight
>He penetrates my butt-hole
>It hurts so much but I do it for Russel Coight
>I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water
>I push against his force
>I want to please Russel Coight
>He roars in a mighty roar as he fills my butt with his love
>My dad walks in
>Russel Coight looks him straight in the eyes and says “Time to hit the road.”
>Russel Coight trips and falls through my window
>Russel Coight is love. Russel Coight is life.
> I was only nine years old
>I loved Kevin so much, I owned all the Despicable Me movies and merchandise
>I pray to Kevin every night, thanking him for the life I have been given
>"Kevin is love", I say, "Kevin is life"
>My dad hears me and says that Dave minion is master race
> He is obviously jealous of my devotion to Kevin
>I called him bananonina
> He slaps me and sends me to my room
> I am crying now, because my face hurts
> I go into my bed and it is very cold
>I feel a warmth moving towards me
> I fell something touch me
> It's Kevin
> I am so happy
> he whispers into my ear, "BEE DO BEE DO BEE DO BEE DO BEE DO"
> He grabs me with his tiny, three-fingered minion hands and puts me on my hands and knees
> I'm ready
> I spread my ass cheeks for Kevin
> "MUAK MUAK MUAK," Kevin says
> Kevin sticks his oval-shaped head into my butthole
> I can feel my anus tearing as my eyes start to water
> I push against his force
> I want to please Kevin
> He tells me "BANANA"
> I take out the shit-covered banana I penetrated myself with the previous night
> He burps a mighty burp as he digests the banana
> My dad walks in
> Kevin looks him deep in the eyes and says, "POOPAYE"
> Kevin leaves through my window
Kevin is love, Kevin is life
>I was only 9 years old
>I loved Ainsley so much, I had all of the merchendise and movies
>I pray to oily god every night before bed, thanking him for the sauce I've been given
>"Ainsley is Love" I say. "Ainsley is Life"
>Jamie Oliver hears me and he steals my twizler
>I knew he was just jealous of my devotion for Ainsley
>I called him a cunt
>He slaps me with a fish and sends me to go to sleep
>I am crying now, my stomach is rumbling
>A warmth is moving towards me
>I feel something touch me
>It's Ainsley
>I am so happy
>He whispers in to my ear "This is my meat"
>He rubs me with his oily chef hands and puts me on my dinner table
>I'm ready
>I open my mouth wide for Ainsley
>He spices up my taste buds
>There's so much to eat but I do it for Ainsley
>I can hear his saucepan sizzling as my mouth starts to water
>I rub against his force
>I want to please Ainsley
>He roars a mighty "HEHE YEEEAHHH BOOIIII" as he fills his mouth with his sauce
>Jamie Oliver walks in
>Ainsley looks at him straight in the eye and says "It's all oily now"
>Ainsley leaves through my window
>Ainsley is love, Ainsley is life
>I was only 12 years old>I loved Bigweld so much, I watched the robots movie 3 times a day just to see him>I pray to bigweld every night>"Bigweld is love" I say "Bigweld is life">My dad hears and calls me a faggot>He was just jealous of my devotion to Bigweld>I called him a nigger>He hits me and sends me to bed>I'm laying down, crying>It's freezing>I feel a presence in the room>A cold, metallic hand touches leg>It's Bigweld>I am so happy>He whispers into my ear "See a need, fill a need">He grabs me with his powerful robot hands and puts my on my hands and knees>He sees my need for his robo-dick>and he fills it>He rips open my asshole with his massive robot dick and fills me with his robo-seed>my dad walks in>Bigweld looks right at him>"You can shine no matter what you're made of>Bigweld murders my dad and leaves >Bigweld is love, Bigweld is life
>pic unrelatedIts shit but still>Be 16>Going to Highschool>Today we are watching a movie of our choice in History Class>Bring Jimmy Nuetron the Movie>So excited>Get to class and see faggot Shrek lover>Hes wearing gay fake Shrek ears>He wants to watch Shrek 2>Call him a fucking cunt>say Shrek is dreck>Jimmy is love, Jimmy is life>Suddenly the scent of onions fills the air>Allstar starts playing>A massive green figure bursts through the ceiling>Oh fuck>"whots all this i hear about me bein dreck laddeh?">He removes his clothes, revealing a fully eshrekted 20 ft long shrock>its dripping swamp juices>Prepare my anus for total destruction>But wait>I can hear something coming from outside>Sounds like a jet...>Jimmy Nuetron crashes through the window with his jetpack>Hes completely naked with a Jimmboner that makes Shrek's look fucking puny>Jimmy forces Shrek onto the ground>Tears streaming down Shrek's face>Brogre classmate looking on in horror>"Please...help meh laddeh">Brogre kid doesnt even look at him>He rips off his fake Shrek ears and smashes his copy of Shrek 2>I hand him Jimmy Nuetron the Movie>He nods knowingly and puts the movie into the DVD player on the classroom tv>We watch the whole movie while Jimmy fucks Shrek in the ass>The movie ends>Jimmy yells "GOTTA BLAST" and unloads a wave of purple flurp from his jimmcock into Shrek's destroyed butthole.>The purple flurp begins overflowing inside of Shrek>He shreksplodes and showers us all in ogre blood and Purple flurp>Jimmy approaches the brogre>Gives him a Duck and pats him on the head>He flies out the hole in the ceiling with his jetpack>Whole class cheers>It's finally ogre>Jimmy is love, Jimmy is life
>I was only 9 years old>I loved Fallout so much, I had all the merchandise and games>I pray to Todd Howard every night before bed, thanking him for the life I've been given>"Fallout is love" I say, "Fallout is life">My dad hears me and calls me a faggot>I knew he was just jealous for my devotion to Howard >I called him a cunt>He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep>I am crying now, and my face hurts>I lay in my bed and it's really cold>A warmth is moving towards me>I feel something touch me>It's Todd Howard >I am so happy>He whispers in to the ear, "Fallout 4 confirmed">He grabs me with his powerful producer hands and puts me on my hands and knees>I'm ready>I open my wallet for Howard>He starts taking my money>It hurts but I do it for Todd >I can feel my money disappearing as my eyes start to water>I push against his force>I want to please Todd >He roars a mighty roar as he fills my cabinet with Fallout 4 Pip boy Edition>My dad walks in>Howard looks him straight in the eye and says "War, war never changes">Todd Howard leaves through my window>Fallout is love, Fallout is life
