>Be me
>19 yr old poorfag working at a construction site building a small factory
>First day on the job
>Didn't talk much
>Whole crew looked like they have been working for years
>Too shy to make friends
>More focused on working
>I was sawing some wood when a grizzled elderly man tapped my shoulder
>He introduced himself to me as I did with him
>His name is Gerald, but everybody at the site calls him Diesel
>He told me that I looked like I was struggling with money
>I responded with a nod
>He explained how he was also in need of money after his dad was in Vietnam, he had to find a job to feed his family
>We had some good chatting time before I was told to get back to work
>Some time passes when the lunch break started
>Scanning for a table to sit before being called out
>The old man from earlier called me over to his table
>about 10-20 other people sitting at the table
>Diesel intrduced me to his large group of friends
>They all greeted me with kindness
>Turns out a lot of the people at the table had some tough times before bettering themselves at the site
>The workers at the table don't mind helping me out if I need food or clothes
>We get called hime early after lunch because of a heavy thunderstorm
>Head home feeling great
>2 years pass
>Driving my wife and kids to church
>Find out that the factory we constructed is getting taken down due to pollution
>Remember about Diesel and his crew
>Go home from church
>Notice a small package and a note near the front entrance
>The note reads, "It was hard finding you after you moved out. Your food package from Diesel arrived some time back at my doorstep and I forgot to give it to you ~ your neighbor."
>Inside the box were tins and another note this time from Diesel himself. "Anon, I am dying of brain cancer, I want you to charish these pecan tins. They're all I have left."
>I open them
>MFW Dies' nuts
>be me
>storeman at local supermarket
>receiving orders, lifting pallets etc.
>easyasfuck.wav
>recently decide to be less of a piece of shit and lose some weight
>start having spinach and other green shit smoothies instead of breakfast
>feelsbadman.jpg
>start having terrible bowel movements and farts, think nothing of it
>at work one day, lifting some pallets to stack them
>let out horrendous fart
>not a fart
>shit my pants
>running down my leg and everything
>ohshit
>don't have change of clothes or anything, just festering shit covered ones I'm wearing
>mfw I have to call my manager and explain that I have to go home because I've shit my pants
>mfw I have to walk through entire store during lunch time rush with shit running down my legs
>mfw everyone at work now calls me "drippy"
>be 20 y.o.>in New York>drinking age is 21>drunk with friends>suddenly remember/realize I have work tomorrow>currently dressed like a bum>can't show up to work in bum clothes>friend doesn't have work uniform>uniform at home>decide to get my drunk ass home ASAP since work starts early>currently it's 3:15 AM>I live in New Jersey>rush, drunk, to the bus station>manage to avoid cops and look sober enough to not attract suspicion>get on bus>take drunk nap>bus driver wakes me up, it's the last stop> fuck> it's not my stop>get off, decide to check phone to see where I am>phone not in pocket>tap for wallet>same>either forgot phone+wallet in bus or someone stole them while I was passed out>too drunk to care, start freaking out>how am I gonna get home>go around this nice-looking neighborhood, trying to get help>some old guy walking his dog takes pity on me, asks if he can help>asks me to give him a number to call>realize i don't know any of my contact's numbers by heart>he says something like "if only the yellow pages were still around">get idea>tell him I can maybe find yellow pages online>he seems reluctant, but agrees to help me>doesn't understand I can use internet in his phone, and I forget too because of alcohol>invites me to his house>old guy lets me use his computer to try and find my mom's number so I can get home>mfw I'm using it to post this
>Be at work>Manager asks me to empty the trash>Okay.jpg>Walk out front to the two trashcans and pull one of them out>Bag is fucked up, none of the trash made it into the bag, fell all inside the can>Sigh, get ready to pour the fucker out into a new bag>Suddenly nostrils are assailed by a wretched smell>That special smell>The smelly smell that smells...shitty>Underneath a McDonalds bag, sure enough, is a hefty log of shit>Not only a sizable loaf, but spattering of runny shit cover the trash, and also the side of the can>The smell is so bad my eyes are watering>I immediately begin to gag and retch as my lunch begins to try and force its way out of my mouth>For the first time in my life, a smell has not only stopped me in my tracks, but brought me to my knees>I sit there on the sidewalk, feeling my intestines begin to melt and my eyes burn out of their sockets as customers walk past me, also gagging at the smell>I summon an inner strength I did not know I had and begin the arduous task of moving the trash, shit and all, into the new bag>I'm literally crying and all the hairs in my nose, on my face and arms, and anything not covered by clothing is burning off>After what seems like an eternity, I have the biohazard contained, but the smell is seeping through the bag>I run around to the dumpster out back and throw it out, not taking a breath until I was at least 100 yards away>Clock out for my break without saying a word and go for a drive to clear my head (and my lungs)>Rethink my life
