negative GBP

>be me>be first day of high school>mom is dropping me off today>she gets my rolling backpack full of fruit snacks out of the trunk>"are you sure you'll be okay here anon?">"yes mommy i am fucking fine">have one thing on my mind>barely make it to the classroom before collapse in desk>health class>skinny fucking normies are staring at me>obviously never played WoW>next...

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Diaper check

>Wake up this morning feeling good>Pull the special edition Battlestar Galactica blanket off my bed>Tie it around my neck like cape>Step over my piss bottles and old food containers>It's an autistic ballet as I tip toe to the spots on my floor that aren't covered in garbage>Finally make it out into hallway>Rush to look at Good Boy chart on the wall>MFW only 10 more points...

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Ranch Sauce

>Wake up at 8 PM after my nappy-wappy>Remembered I've been a really good boy today>Go to check my Good Boy Point (GBP) whiteboard>30 GBP>Enough to go in the playroom AND get a tendie meal with ranch dipping sauce>Wade through my piss bottles and shit jugs to get to my door>Waddle over to mummy's room>"Mummy! Mummy! I've been a good boy and I want to go to the pwaywoom!" >Mummy...

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going to EB Games

>saved up enough Good Boy Points for a new game>ask mummy to drive me to EB Games>says she drank too much of her grape juice so she cant drive>decide to go myself>pack some chicken tendies for the journey in case I get hungies>go to the garage, grab my bike and TMNT bicycle helmet (leonardo, of course)>riding my bike, people angry and yelling at me as i make my way through sidewalk...

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medieval doctor

>be medieval doctor>chillin in my bitchin' horse and wagon carrying my various herbs and body parts>for reasearch>some asshole templars pull up>notthisshitagain. oiloncanvas>call me a nerd and make fun of my mask>how is the mask stupid? the mask is the best part of being a doctor>a couple of the bucket heads are coughing pretty bad>it is time to do my duty>my doctoral...

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5 extra GBP

> be me > 28 years old NEET > raised as an only child > I caused mummy and daddys divorce  > nothing matters except the scrumptious taste of tendies > GOLDEN BROWN TENDY TOWN TURN THAT FROWN UPSIDE DOWN > mfw its 03:00am > eww mummy is sleeping with nasty landlord > mummy I'm hungries > yell into intercom for snackitysnacks > CLAIM THE MEAL OF THE CHICKEN GODS!!...

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twelfth birthday

>be me>it's my twelfth birthday>which means it's my Choice Day>pretty nervous because I know it's a huge deal, but I haven't given it much thought>me and dad sit down at the kitchen table>he shows me two pictures>one is a shirtless brad Pitt>the other is giselle bundchen wearing a bra and panties>"which one gets your dick hard, anon?">neither one does>"spit it out,...

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playing darts

>be me>two weeks ago>at the bar playing darts>pretty drunk>3/10 fat trap bitch walks up with fagtard friend>in deepest voice I've ever heard she requests next game>"well clearly you don't have a feminine penis">they both stare at me>"wtf did you just say to me">I asked, "well, do you have a feminine penis or not?">her friend steps in>200% gayest voice I've ever...

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Poop nuggets

>Be me.>Be 10-year-old little shit.>Have a serious problem with not going to the bathroom because I'm too enthralled in the vidya.>Instead of taking a shit I'd pick off little pieces of the shit sticking out of my ass and toss it behind my bed.>I do this for months, never realizing that tiny pebbles of shit were accumlating behind my bed.>Spring cleaning comes.>Am too stupid...

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Lord and Savior Donald Trump

>be me >2nd semester high school senior >taking US History course >discussing monopolies and how they are illegal along with modern politics >discussion leads to Donald Trump >feminist bitch in the front shares her opinion of Trump >"i couldnt live with myself or be disgraced with having him as president" >temporarily forget I'm surrounded by normies >autism.exe is now...

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Chicky Tendies

>wake up at 3PM and roll out of my racecar bed >piss jugs are all full, have to use the toilet like some subhuman normie >waddle downstairs to find mummy for my wakey-wakey tendies and bakey >lights off, nobody there >there is a note on the refrigerator >"Pumpkin, Dytravius and I have gone to the movies for the afternoon I made some of your favorite chicky tendies just heat...

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