>labor day in the US
>barbecue at friend's house
>about 20 guests total, choice between ssb4 and pool
>girls choose pool, guys choose vidya
>set up game so loser rotates out, 3 stocks each
>just before I can get on girls realize they aren't being fawned over and come inside
>"lol let us play too! :3"
>boyfriends have no choice to agree
>my turn finally arrives, load up as ganondorf
>win (obviously)
>loser rotates out, girl 1 comes on
>choke a bitch with side-B suicide finisher
>"omg no fair!! :("
>g2 rotates in
>repeat the process of handling the drones and then killing the girl
>none of the boys want to kill the girls because they won't get laid
>about a half an hour goes by until the next guy comes on
>everyone charges at me since I've been taking first this whole time
>fuck their shit nigger-fighting up with tilts and meteors for days (dat hitbox doe)
>girl's turn to rotate in
>she tells her boyfriend she's tired and wants to go home
>every other girl follows suit
>five minutes later only me, the host, and another guy are left
>other guy awkwardly leaves
>host's phone is vibrating like crazy from text messages from the guys who left
>host tells me that I'm banned from playing ssb4 and kicks me out
>mfw
>Two weeks after graduation>Family decides to throw a graduation party at a lake>Family getting kind of boring, friends start showing up>Hanging around with couple friends from class>We bought water balloons the night before and we start filling them up and shit>Somehow ran out of water balloons>Friends and I start grabbing regular sized balloons and filling them up>Left with nine-month fetus sized balloons>Literally does not explode upon impact to the face>Watching fetus-balloons sail across the sky followed by a loud "thwack">Hears distant sound of frogs croaking>"They're mocking us." I whisper>Idiot friends and I proceed to hunt for the source>Singles out a frog the size of a quarter>Struggles to escape us, but resistance is futile>nowwhat.jpg>Eyes the sack of unused balloons like the last of the condoms>idea.png>Starts filling the water balloon partway>Stretches the opening just enough to slip him in>Continues to fill the balloon to baby-fetus size>Cradles it in my friends arms as we proceed to bring him to the sand>Everybody salutes to the sinking sun as we launch Frogger 1 into orbit>Never has science and art come so close>Ackbars straight into it's homeland, the tiny pond>splat.mp3>The search for survivor begins>Survivor spotted>Every breath is held as it's outstretched body doesn't move>Seconds pass>A twitch>Then a leap>IT FUCKIN' LIVES THE IMPACT>Cheers are made>Champagne is shot into the air>The frog is welcomed home a hero>Frogger 1 has survived impact from 20 feet in the air>Lives to pass on his story down generations>mfw we forcibly kidnapped a frog from his homeland, stuffed him into a water filled balloon, tossed him into the air and watched him go splat, and live to tell the tale>Best graduation party ever
