25 March 2016

Theres more

>take a nap in the middle of the day
>wake up feeling fresher than 90's will smith
>holy shit I smell something
>smells like cake
>can't get any harder
>rush to the kitchen
>scent is getting stronger
>holy shit my dad made chocolate cake
>smells like betty Crocker was milfing around
>dad tells me I could have a bite
>my mouth is watery like that off brand chef boy rd
>fuk
>it tastes so good
>can't help scarfing down half of the cake
>dad says I could have as much as I want.
>Down the whole cake
>start going to my room
>dad says "wait there is more!"
>pulls out three more cakes
>"dad how much did this fucking cost."
>"about 3 easy payments of 19.99"
>fuck dude... My dad Is Billy mayes.
>poisoned the cakes with oxiclean
>my casket is lined with George foreman grills and oxiclean
>"but wait there is more!"
>dad throws 99 pennies and 19 singles into my casket