>I loved Ainsley so much, I had all of the merchendise and movies
>I pray to oily god every night before bed, thanking him for the sauce I've been given
>"Ainsley is Love" I say. "Ainsley is Life"
>Jamie Oliver hears me and he steals my twizler
>I knew he was just jealous of my devotion for Ainsley
>I called him a cunt
>He slaps me with a fish and sends me to go to sleep
>I am crying now, my stomach is rumbling
>A warmth is moving towards me
>I feel something touch me
>It's Ainsley
>I am so happy
>He whispers in to my ear "This is my meat"
>He rubs me with his oily chef hands and puts me on my dinner table
>I'm ready
>I open my mouth wide for Ainsley
>He spices up my taste buds
>There's so much to eat but I do it for Ainsley
>I can hear his saucepan sizzling as my mouth starts to water
>I rub against his force
>I want to please Ainsley
>He roars a mighty "HEHE YEEEAHHH BOOIIII" as he fills his mouth with his sauce
>Jamie Oliver walks in
>Ainsley looks at him straight in the eye and says "It's all oily now"
>Ainsley leaves through my window
>Ainsley is love, Ainsley is life
