Yu

>be me 19 yrs>work at shitty kiosk>get a text from this asian girl>been talking with her at school>7/10 pretty sweet kawaii.jpg>her name is Yu >ask if i wanna visit in the weekend>dont know how to respond>just looks at message>eating cereal out of box under the counter>after 2 hours i decide to write back>"sure, sounds great">fastforward: day before friday>she...

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Phones Qt3.14

>be me>be 21>have a shitty figure but not too fat>on a flight to new york, going for a business conference>browsing 4chan>sees q t pi with an interesting greentext>interested so i attempt to ask her out on my nokia 2600>says no>find her phone number on fb >call her>"hello who is dis">/panic/>drops phone on floor>plane tilts suddenly to the side im sitting...

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Anon tries anal

>be me>tech college because i'm stupid>crack addicts come to career development department because they're trying to get back on their feet>women always have really nice hair and skeletal faces>they're pretty sexy when their clothed>try picking them up, succeed on one, fuck her, never hear or see her again>succeed on a second one>go for anal, because what ever shes a crack...

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Gardevoir

> be me> be 19> I first became a pokemon trainer when I was 12 years old. > My parents died when I was 14 due to a terrible Car accident. > I went to the Pokemon laboratory to visit Professor Rowan > Once there, I saw my childhood friend Dawn> She was picking her starter pokemon> She chose Piplup > I chose Turtwig> Dawn saw me and walked over to...

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Be scientist

>Be me.>Be a scientist.>Working on advanced spacial transportation.>Teleportation, portals, wormholes, and shit.>Lovely 9/10 qt assistant.>Assistant=Testing rat for dangerous shit I dont want to do.>Four weeks into project that can instantly teleport mass from a chamber to anywhere in a 10 meter radius.>Assistant is still alive.>NewRecordMarioParty6.wav>More tests.>Trying...

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Chicken nuggets

>talking to hot guy on skype>we exchange nudes>I get a huge as boner>fall asleep with boner after flirting>now I have a urinal tract infection>decide to jerk off>I can't stop leaking yellow cum>jerk off again>blood starts to cum out>my dick is purple like the Mc Nugget thing from Mc Donald's>it really hurts>get another boner thinking about chicken nuggets>go...

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CHEESESTICK

> be me  > be sitting in art class > random tard walks in let's call him ben > tard is famous for being on the wrestling team > Ben walks over to me and says "sup dude can I have a cheese stick" > I say "no sorry I don't have one right now" > ben gets angry >rage mode activate  > "GIVE ME CHEESESTICK" > I get up and walk away because I'm afraid of him shitting...

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The Law

>Be me in highschool >Beta doesn’t even begin to describe me >My pockets were more productive than Strega Nona’s magic pot >Constantly got bullied by this gorilla named Lawrence >He’s neither a faggot nor a sailor but the quarterback (American football for the un-free) >Everyone calls him the Law because he’s the big guy on campus >One day on my way to trig Lawrence starts fucking...

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Catching Wife

>Be me >Exchange student in England, for education and shit >One day, meet girl > Easily 9/10. Long brown hair, perfect teeth (somehow, considering Europoor), amazing eyes >Go up to her, alpha as fuck, and ask her for a drink >Laughs, and agrees to it >We find nearest pub, and start drinking >Date goes well, I learn more about her >She would be 10/10, but he has this annoying...

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Anon's birthday

>birthday>tell family I don't want to do anything special>they know I hate being the center of attention and flounder badly in social situations of any kind>force me to go out for dinner with them>go to restaurant>8 family members in total including me>everyone talks among themselves animatedly during the meal>nobody talks to me during the meal despite the occasion ostensibly...

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