>knock at door
>most beta fuck I've ever seen
>over 6'
>morbidly obese
>MLP shirt
>fucking scene from Minecraft tatted on his arm
>asks about car parked in my driveway
>tell him it's for sale
>gives me his name and number and says he'll be back
>comes by today
>cash in hand
>drives away in my college beater
>smoke everywhere
>several hours later I'm smoking a bowl, watching Parks & Rec
>knock at the door
>two cops standing on my porch
>"you own an 83 chevy shitarina?"
>"sold it to a dweller this morning"
>find out it's in impound
>beta boy was caught behind a safeway in the backseat
>had purchased a watermelon in safeway
>cut a small hole
>was fucking it
>cops laughed
>I laughed
>case closed
>watermelon fucker is probably getting sex charges
>mfw this is the first day my wife hasn't nagged me to get rid of the car
>mfw I walk past the watermelon on my kitchen counter
