>be young 'dolf 1940 few years down my belt but still lowkey insecure about Volksleitung
>kinda winging this Führer stuff
>they think my wurst 35inches but:
>beta_inside.jpg
>on big reich tour in city of Weimar
>can't go anywhere without people heiling me
>good lord the heiling
>literally have to walk with my hand extended whenever people see me
so I have my permanent room in this hotel called the Elephant and it's great and got running water and all but just one fatal flaw
>1940
>still no toilet in room
>toilet is down the hall, last door
>opposite fucking side of the building
>whenever my door opens somehow the whole hotel knows and comes to heil me
>cue scheiße hits the fan situation
>mfw hundreds standing in hallway
>heiling
>mfw just want to have a quick scheiß
>they all think I'm gonna announce next pro blitzkrieg strat
>walking past them like nope, nothing to heil here hehe
>have to see the burning passion in their eyes turn dark like the burning reichstag went down in 33
>still getting heiled
>myself heiling the whole way
>after eternity in hell sit down on scheißhaus try not to think about 400 people standing in front of fucking door
>humm wagner's ritt der walküren to calm down
>somehow
>flush as silent as a jew fleeing from dachau
>betaführer.png
>walking back through standing ovations
>they still heiling
>arm slowly turning al dente like mussolinis spaghetti
>feel like mengele forgot who pays his panzerschokolade and is tormenting his meister
>worst day since getting declined by art school
>repeat every time I have to use toilet
>mfw I suddenly realize I'm the fucking führer
>abuse superior powers to remodel whole hotel
>mfw the elephant now has a toilet in the führer's room
>mfw actual true story according to hitlers secretary
