>bored and lonely on sunday
>tfw no gf
>atleastihavemaryjane.flp
>smoke a couple bowls
>decide to go for a walk
>in 10 minutes, an incredible scent hits me
>it's a new burger king
>aw yuss
>order 30 chicken nuggets because munchies
>girl at the till totally knew
>it's pretty busy, but I have nothing to do, so I sit at a table and wait
>a cold breeze blows through the door
>you can basically hear the AvP Requiem theme
>a man in his 40s comes in and turns back to the door
>he's cooing "come on, it's alright" in a really soft voice
>the cups rattle on the tables
>the floor shakes
>a massive female tard waddles in
>massive as in massively retarded AND massively fat
>fucking gigantic, how is that thing capable of locomotion?
>in 1 minute, an indescribable scent hits me
>it's like the smega of a thousand niggers baked in a cake of shit marinated in old fish and despair
>megatard finally reaches the counter with what seems to be her father
>"what do you want honey?"
>she looks past the menu and into the kitchen, where someone is frying fries
>a look of absolute horror covers her face
>I'll never understand what, if anything, is going on in that head of hers
>qt brings my nuggets, but I'm feeling kind of disgusted
>tard point to three combos
>that's three burgers, three American sized drinks, three cups of ice cream and like a kg of fries
>"deddy ah want that ones"
>"that's a lot of food, are you sure you'll eat it?"
>nigga do you see the size of her?
>megatard not pleased
>"AH WANT THAT ONES AH WANT THAT ONES!"
>whole place is staring
>high me finds this hilarious
>poor guy looks flustered
>"okay honey okay, you can have those ones"
>tard smiles a smile of triumph
>it's the bitchiest smile ive ever seen. The smile of someone who knows she can get whatever she wants
>they order and sit at a table near me
>I start eating my delicious, blended, battery-raised chickens
>run out of tomato sauce
>tards number must have been called as I got up
>I'm closer to the counter and as I reach for the extra sauce, I don't notice that their food is right next to it
>I hear a rumbling
>suddenly shoved away by what feels like Mike Tyson
>nope, it's megatard
>sauce all over me
>"HE WUZ TAKIN MAH CHEPS!"
>get up, a little dazed
>her father comes over and apologizes
>"it's fine, I understand"
>doesn't say a thing to the tard, just gets their tray and goes to their table, tard follows
>whole place staring again
>go to the bathroom and find that the only tap is in the disabled people cubicle
>busy wiping sauce off my pants when suddenly the outside door quietly opens
>hear footsteps, figure it's some guy from the store
>large space under the door
>see redwoods waddle past
>nope, it's megatard
>how
>I'm trying to be very quiet
>try to sit on the toilet and raise my legs so she doesn't see me
>why the fuck is she here?
>as I lean back, I accidentally push the flush button
>oh fuck fuck fuck
>monster stampedes in front of the stall
>hear whispers
>"pssswwshh"
>...
>stay silent
>"ah sormi"
>decide to say something, it has already cornered me anyway
>"sorry, what was that?"
>my voice is shaking
>"AHM SOWWY FER PUSHING YOOOOOOO!"
>don't care, just leave please
>"that's okay, I'm fine"
>OKAY
>it's shouting every word
>how is nobody else hearing this?
>did it eat everyone else?
>she leaves
>I finish cleaning up
>itsfinallyover.cxb
>nope
>just as I'm about to leave the bathroom, an ungodly shriek from the depths of oblivion pierces the air
>image ten cats in a line, having a hot wire dragged along all their backs at once
>not going out there no fucking way
>hear people running around
>lots of talking
>SCREEEEECH
>another banshee shriek
>just sit there and wait it out
>after about 10 minutes everything seems normal
>go back out and megatard is nowhere to be seen
>ask counterqt what happened
>apparently megatard slipped and fell onto a table, scaring the couple there and squishing their food
>it hurt it's arm and it's father panicked or something
>look to the table and see the squashed remains of two meals, sauce fucking everywhere
>go back to my table and retrieve my nuggets
>walk home
>pass out on couch
The end
