08 August 2015

Soppy piss-ridden popcorn

>be me
>2 weeks or so ago
>lunch break
>hanging out with fat friend
>well call him fatty
>me and fatty are bored so we decide to get high
>greasy pop can pipe 
>whatever fuck it
>smoke .5 -.8 not sure
>high
>skip forward 20min to class
>gym 
>playing sports when the overpowering and sudden urge to take a massive shit hits
>waddel ass cheeks clenched to bathroom from fear of shitting oneself
>fatty laughs at me
>looked like him walking 24/7
>finally make it to the only stall in the bathroom 
>start taking one of the best shits of my life
>concentration level of auchwitz
>concentration level so high I don't hear fatty or bearded Arab gorilla in my class enter into room
>they start throwing single pieces of popcorn over the stall on top of me
>ignore it and they get bored and leave me in piece 
>3 minutes later little shit stack comes in
>lovingly cringe as I drop the main package into the bowl
>suddenly 
>shit stack throws entire bag of popcorn on top of me
>have heart attack and freak the fuck out
>piss all over the floor
>all over the stall door
>scream as loud as I can 
>"WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKKKKKKkkkkkk..?!?"
>stand up and wipe as fast as I can
>as I'm trying to exit the stall I nearly slip on popcorn and piss
>ohgod.jpg
>wash hands and leave 
>nothing happened for 40min after that
>gym teacher goes into bathroom 
>mfw
>hear very audible "WHAT THE FUCK"
>gym teacher comes out demanding to know who made the soppy piss-ridden popcorn in the bathroom
>no one answers
>gets angry and storms off to his office
>isn't seen for the rest of class
>mfw the janitor wasn't there that day
>mfw he has to clean it up
>mfw he adopted both his children