>be a 17 year old fat, disgusting, blonde haired, 430 pound faggot
>go to school everyday and play yugioh with nerds at a table
>I'msofuckingfat.jpg
>eating low calorie nachos
>start puking for no reason
>school security guard comes and starts wiping it off my chest
>thisisembarrasing.jpg
>another teacher comes up to me and literally
puts a bib on my shirt
>I start crying because this is so embarrassing
>my yugioh-playing friends are actually hyper-masculine cunts, they start hitting me because I am crying
>I start crying more
>I pass out due to low blood sugar
>wake up at night, on tile floor of school cafeteria to find homeless retarded man licking the remaining puke off of my chest
>I pull out my smartphone to realize it is 11:00pm and the school is locked down for the night
>retarded homeless man starts telling me war stories and fapping furiously at the same time
>whatthefuckishappening.jpg
>fall asleep
>wake up later at 4:00am, still laying in the same spot in school cafeteria
>get up, start looking for way out (school is locked down, it's still night time)
>find a window, open it, jump out
>begin walking home
>go home, family is sleeping, look in mirror
>eyes are fucking green for some reason
>after reuniting with family, go to doctor, find out I have a rare infection
>canthisweekgetanyworse.jpg
>Doctor gives me medicine to take
>Turns out doctor is shrek
>doctor begins to jack me off at incredibly hihg speed
>ejactulate furiously everwhere
>doctor told me the only cure is to masturbate constantly for 3 weeks straight
>since doctor is shrek, I can't object
>I'm cured
