>Convict for 6 generations
>Tired of being a convict
>Decide I've had enough of this bullshit
>Take flight to England
>Hostess cunt offers me strange bird they call a chicken
>Ask if they have any emu I could kill and eat
>She laughs at me
>Throw spider in her face
>The spider immediately bites her and she passes out from the poison like a mate
>Passengers on the flight go hysterical as the spider borrows into her brains and lays its babies
>5 seconds pass and the hostesses heads explodes, tiny baby spiders litter the aisles
>Everyone in the plane gets bitten by baby spiders
>Fucking mates can't even handle a bit of poison
>Everyone in the plane is dead
>Baby spiders borrow into passengers brains and lay more babies
>Passengers head exploding with spiders everywhere
>Hear yelling from the cockpit
>Pilot cunts turn out to be mates who can't handle spiders
>Everyone in the flight is dead
>Walk into the cockpit and take the wheel
>Plane is a mate
>Not even a V8
>Baby spiders take control of the co-pilot wheel
>Land the plane like a cunt
>Taken aside at the airport by a bunch of English mates
>Asked if I have any criminal history
>Tell them I'm a convict and have always been one
>They question me more
>Ask me if I want a cup of tea
>Get tired of these mates
>Throw vegemite in their face
>They immediately scream and fall to the floor in pain
>Pull toast out of pocket and scrap some vegemite off one of the mates
>Go to baggage claim
>Get my bindle
>Pull kangaroo out of bindle and ride towards Mateingham palace in his pouch
>This place is hell
>Just buildings and road everywhere
>Nothing even good to hunt
>Don't even get my daily dose of venom from wildlife, pidgeon refuses to poison me
>Kill a dog with my hands and start eating it with my knife
>Finally get to Mateingham palace after some cunts gave me directions
>Mate redcoats won't let me through the gates
>PUll out knife and slice one of the mates heads off
>Three other mate redcoats try to shoot me
>Take out boomerang and throw it
>The boomerang catches all three bullets and flings them off in different directions
>Boomerang comes around and hits the first matecoat in the side of the head
>His head explodes, a fountain of blood spews out before his corpse falls over
>Second cuntcoat tries to run but boomerang cleaves him in half at the hip
>Third matecoat ducks in the nick of a chuzzwozzer and avoids it
>Crack open VB and throw it in his face
>Starts orgasming from how good VB is
>Dies to having a hundred orgasms at once
>Fourth cuntcoat tries to stab me with a spoon on the end of his gun
>Thatsnotaknife.gif
>Pull out a man knife from my jacket
>Bigger than uluru
>Slice cuntcoat in half and destroy half of cuntingham palace
>Suddenly queen bursts out of cuntingham palace in a horse carriage
>Try to chase after her on kangaroo
>Kangeroo isn't fast enough
>Find a spare VB in his pouch
>Feed cunt kangaroo VB
>Kangaroo easily catches up to cunt carriage with the power of VB flowing in his cunt veins
>Jump across to horses and knife them
>Mate queen tries to flee
>Throw boomerang at her, cuts both her legs off
>Headwentthatwaylegswentthatway.jpg
>Ask cunt queen to let my people be free
>Mate queen dies from blood lose
>Thesefuckingcunts.cunt
>Take flight home
>Eat damper and drinks fosters on the way back
>Hostess tells me I can't bring my own food
>Throw spider in her face
>Spider bites her and injects his poison and then lays babies in her brain
>Whole flight in spiders within a few minutes
>Get much needed poison injection
>Pilot flight back to straya
>Forever a convict
