09 September 2015

Soda from tards

>be me 15 
>going on a bike ride with my 14 year old friend because we were /fit/
>after passing many land whales in cares and the local food join in our town we get to a place called lambs farm
>lambs farm is a place for retarded people where they can live in peace away from normal people even though its surrounded by highways so it's noisy as shit
>me and my friend ride in and stop at a soda machine 
>thirsty.jpg
>spend the next hour trying to get into it since we have no cash
>we see a fridge next to it filled with diet root beer
>try to open it 
>fuck it's locked 
>then spend next 15 min trying to shove things in the key hole to make it open
>I try to pry the door out so I can snap the rusty lock off the fridge
>success the soda is mine
>me and my friend start drinking the soda with relief 
>tard then walks towards us startling at least 40 geese stepping in their shit along the way
>asks us in a slurred retarded way what are u goiiise doing hur?
>my friend says some shit about me having lung problems when we were riding bikes
>the fucker buys it and leaves 
>we Finnish the soda and dump the other ten soda cans left in the case in the soda machine 
>shove cans in to but my hands get wet with soda
>I then decide to washy hands at the tard gift shop
>I enter and a non(mentally disabled) black land whale security guy is eating an ice cream cone 
>I ask him where the bathroom is and he points while his flabby arms
>wash hands and then leave the place with my friend and me laughing our asses off 
>mfw we stole soda from retards
>mfw the one fucker never caught us
>mfw the place had a security guard who didn't do shit