>feels alright man, pay is a little above minimum wage.
>covering greeter's shift, since he's an old man with serious ass and bowel problems.
>Get bored, nobody is coming in.
>Notice cashier I've met and fell in love with this past month talking to some alpha jock
>She brushes his hand when she gives him change, tells him to "have a nice day"
>sudden wave of alpha comes over me
>I've been planning for this
>walk to the far end of the store, tie chin strap on my fedora down (so my trademark won't fly away)
>Start running
>open mouth
>swallow air
>fart it out
>fart propels me faster
>pull out collapsible katana from fedora
>drag it on the ground as I run
>friction heats it up
>hold it up to farts
>farts ignite
>start flying through the store
>crush stares at me, shouting something about calling the police
>think jock is robbing her
>throw my lunchable spaghetti at him
>DIRECT HIT, he flips out
>"YO WTF WHY DAT WHITE BOI FLYIN AN THROWIN NOODLES AN SHIT"
>Try to wink at my crush, and tip my fedora to her
>still have noodle stuck to my hand
>it goes in my mouth
>food makes me shit
>start sputtering, no shit isn't igniting
>losing altitude
>fart gas is now a chocolate fire hose
>crash land and skid all the way to the parking lot
>mfw I blamed the poop splatters on the old man
