>in New York
>drinking age is 21
>drunk with friends
>suddenly remember/realize I have work tomorrow
>currently dressed like a bum
>can't show up to work in bum clothes
>friend doesn't have work uniform
>uniform at home
>decide to get my drunk ass home ASAP since work starts early
>currently it's 3:15 AM
>I live in New Jersey
>rush, drunk, to the bus station
>manage to avoid cops and look sober enough to not attract suspicion
>get on bus
>take drunk nap
>bus driver wakes me up, it's the last stop
> fuck
> it's not my stop
>get off, decide to check phone to see where I am
>phone not in pocket
>tap for wallet
>same
>either forgot phone+wallet in bus or someone stole them while I was passed out
>too drunk to care, start freaking out
>how am I gonna get home
>go around this nice-looking neighborhood, trying to get help
>some old guy walking his dog takes pity on me, asks if he can help
>asks me to give him a number to call
>realize i don't know any of my contact's numbers by heart
>he says something like "if only the yellow pages were still around"
>get idea
>tell him I can maybe find yellow pages online
>he seems reluctant, but agrees to help me
>doesn't understand I can use internet in his phone, and I forget too because of alcohol
>invites me to his house
>old guy lets me use his computer to try and find my mom's number so I can get home
>mfw I'm using it to post this
