>about 20 and in college
>college roommate is friends with this guy
>guy is an insufferable douche
>dresses constantly in golf attire
>has a face like a cast-iron skillet
>talks all the time about fucking easy, syphilitic sluts
>makes retarded jokes about everyone in group
>douchey hyena laugh after his own jokes
>one night, me, college roommate, and Douche Bigalo go to Taco Bell in douchebag's giant, Super-Duty, extended-cab, jacked-up pick-up truck
>douche calls his mom
>yells at her for ten minutes because he's almost out of spending money and she hasn't deposited any more into his checking account
>fuck this guy
>3:00 AM, dorm parking lot
>find this guy's truck in parking lot
>slice his drivers side tires
>LOUD AS FUCK HISS
>thankfully, no one catches me
>put the whole thing out of my mind
>next day
>coming back to dorm from class
>see Douche Bigalo in parking lot
>body language = exasperated
>he's on his cell phone
>probably crying to his mommy about tires
>so satisfying
>few days go by
>start to regret cutting tires
>fuck, what if this somehow comes back to me?
>say nothing to college roommate, as he would think it was fucked up
>next day
>college roommate and I are watching tv
>he mentions Douche's truck tires were sliced
>fake surprise
>"OMG, roommate, what the fuck happened?"
>turns out the same night I cut Douchey's tires, he got called out at a party by some frat fuck who claimed Douchey fucked his girl
>proceeds to fight and kick Douchey's ass
>mfw everyone thinks frat fuck sliced Douchey's tires
>mfw Douchey takes frat fuck to court
