>be visiting marine friend from college at camp pendleton
>tell friend that I want to get some of that cheap on-base liqqa
>friend tells me how I can get some for even cheaper
>friend (whose in IT) hates the stupid jarheads at the base's liquor store
>friend prints out some bills on printer paper
>friend crumples them up and spreads some coffee on them
>friend says if you mix some real bills in the dumb muscleheads never notice the fakes
>brilliant.jpeg
>go to store
>get $150 worth of liqqa, hand over bills
>dumb motherfuckers take the cash
>win.rar
>leaving store, suddenly hear the smartest of the dumbfucks yell
>"hey get the fuck back in here!"
>nope.nope
>get in car, start flooring it out into street
>suddenly, sirens behind us
>its MP
>friend goes "oh fuck" and pulls over
>I decide to run for it because I'm not a marine and don't think they'll identify me
>run down street, big giga-niga MP chasing me
>run pass trashcan, get idea
>I turn and throw the can square into the big nigs legs donkey kong style
>MP faceplants
>I can't believe that fucking worked
>turn back around
>suddenly another massive braindead marine officer clotheslines me
>ouch.png
>hit ground, nose breaks, get jumped on by 4 MPs
>take me in cop car to station
>get brought to empty room, handcuffed to a chair, left for 4 hours
>suddenly, massive jarhead who clotheslined me comes in
>says I tore his buddy's ACL with that trashcan
>picks up another chair
>says "I just have one question for you"
>ohshit.pfd
>"Are you ready..."
>shittingmyself.gif
>"ready for what?"
>"for this sunday night's WWE SOUUUUPPER SLAMMMMM"
>mrw the marine is actually John Cena
>mfw he beats my face in with the chair
