>out drinking with gril i have a crush on
>payday so buy a bottle of whiskey
>so drunk can barely get in door
>gril and i seem to be vibing
>start drinking whiskey
>can smell whiskey breath as we start to kiss
>"that's amore"
>clothes come off still kissing
>404: boner not found
>too drunk to care
>start naked dry humping gril
>shes into it
>still no bone
>flacid wet spaughetti everywhere
>too drunk to get it up
>gril says "i have an idea"
>um okay
>she starts scissoring me
>horrified
>damn it feels thought
>fuck it
>mfw we are a heterosexual human couple scissoring
>mfw we awkwardly make conversation til she says she has to go check on her cats
