>in math class, desks are aligned in a u-shape in front of the teacher
>anon sits the the end, crush sits across
>had tacos, the shitty school lunch kind
>my stomach starts hurting so I ask ms.teacher if I can go use the restroom
>"no anon sit down"
>"but miss! It's an emergency!!"
>"anon sit down I know you just want to get out of class"
>minutes pass, the feeling goes away
>crush asks if she can borrow my eraser
>then all of the sudden ohshit.jpg, the dam is approaching critical levels
>if anon gets up, he will shit his pants. If anon doesn't get up, he will loose the privilege of having his crush use his eraser
>most difficult dilemma 4th grade anon has ever faced
>anon decides he must not leave a damsel in distress. anon is after all, a gentleman
>somehow made it all the way to her desk, start getting butterflies, blood just rushes straight to my head
>loosing control of bowels, push her off the seat and sit down in hopes of regaining control
>little sally says "ms teacher!! anon pushed me and won't get off my seat!!!"
>ms teacher says "sally be quiet ms teacher is busy teaching the other students"
>little sally is very angry, starts pushing poor anon off
>after and agonizing battle, anon gets pushed off. face down, ass up
>at that moment... the diarrhea
>shits, man, just so much shits
>projectile type shit for a good 30 fucking seconds
>shit goes fucking everywhere
>whole class just stares in horror, little sally throws up on my shit, making the shit splash onto other people including herself
>ms teacher is in a state of shock, everyone is gagging and running around
>I start covering the shit/vomit with books, pants trail shit as I move
>oh shit.. Not done shitting
>how the fuck can a 10 year old shit so much
>run to the bathroom, finish my shit, nurse comes in with clean pair of clothes, makes me shower
>I go home
>never go to that school again
And then.. Years and years later, I come home from college this weekend and I see little Sally at brother's football game
>"anon!! It's you!! please tell me you used the bathroom today!!"
We catch up, have a few drinks, I invite her to dinner.. and the rest is history. Been together 4 years now
