> Fat enough to truffle shuffle
> Go on camping trip with my boy scout troop to a local camping ground over the weekend
> Saturday night was a special ceremony
> Love camping trips, but older guys in troop are alpha to me because I'm husky
> also really fucking love skittles, and am forever called "skittle-tits"
> Eat dinner, cry, fall asleep -- usual shit
> After lunchtime Saturday, ceremony is 4 hours from now
> See jocky middle schoolers
> Try to look away, but get heckled
> "Hey Skittle-tits! We've got some skittles for your fat ass!"
> didfagglejustfuckingsayskittles.jpg
> No hesitation
> don't taste right, but sugar is sugar
> really want some more, but don't want to get made fun of
> About an hour after I had eaten, thunder from down under
> I don't think those were skittles
> gotta hit the latrines
> Get to the latrines
> rancid doodie smear everywhere
> Not pooping here
> "Where the fuck can I go"
> Get lost, but see new shower area the campground
> It's like a high school communal shower, no walls or anything
> Anything will do at this point, can't squeeze anus shut much longer.
> Turtle head is knock-knock-knockin on heaven's door
> Run to shower area
> Snot rocket shit fountain from asshole
> Everywhere
> Literally feel as though my organs are coming out of my ass
> After few minutes my exit is done spewing.
> Quickly realize where I am
> NowI'minsomeshit.mp4
> Walls and floors alike are caked in my chocolate
> See a cinder block
> thoughtbubble.gif
> Use cinder block to half-assedly scrape diarreha off wall and into corner
> Once the butt butter was in a pile, I put the cinder block on top to hide evidence
> 8 year old logic
> Use this opportunity to kill two birds with one stone and take a shower
> Wipe up and waddle out like nothing happened
> Too nervous to show face, forced to waddle through woods away from ceremony
> Wander to some other person's hammock
> Energy drained from massive brown, must sleep
> Pass out for hours
> Sometime at night I wake up to screaming
> WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU FUCKING DOING IN MY HAMMOCK
> ohgodwhat'shappening
> Your family has been looking for endlessly, you missed the ceremony and everyone is furious
> gottagofast.webm
> Find family
> Get ass whooped, but never explain myself.
Afterwards, heard news about latrines being rekt and camp counselers being pissed from friend. At the next meeting they questioned everyone individually. Me being the heavy, awakard kid who was a pansy, I cracked when they got to me. I let them know the gruesome details, and was asked to leave Boy Scouts forever. When my parents were told, it forever started the disappointment I will always see in my Dad's eyes when he looks at me. When I returned to school, I found out through some kids that the older Boy Scouts had given me dishwater tablets. Bullying was increased ten-fold, and it lasted until highschool. Eventually had to start over new in a different state because I literally wanted to die from the embarrasment. Even after I left, people still threw bags of shit at my parent's house.
