>beat cop
>patrolling on a saturday night
>about to get off
>driving down US-I177 in a dark area
>going very slow because there's a sharp curve that's hard to see when it's dark
>sign was knocked down a couple weeks ago
>still hasn't been replaced
>see a car run off the road, woman standing there with a wrecked but not totaled car
>I pull next to her, get out
>She's yammering about how she has insurance blah blah
>Suspect she's drunk
>Apply sobriety test
>a gentle push
>She falls, I accidentally fall with her
>Land on top
>Haven't had sex in like two weeks
>Instaboner.jpg
>Pants come down a bit from fall, no boxers
>Try to help her up, end up lifting her dress
>Accidentally plunge into her
>She's flailing and screaming
>Try and get up, her flailing makes me fall
>Repeat
>Try and push off her throat for leverage
>She claws my eyes
>Push harder
>Suddenly she turns blue and stops moving
>"Ma'am you've had too much to drink"
>Let her off with a warning
>Her body makes a noise
>Sounds like she said "trunk"
>"okay if you insist..."
>put her in trunk
>when popping it I notice her tank is almost empty
>decide to be a good guy and fill her up
>get jerry can
>Think of hilarious racist joke my boss told me
>Laughing so hard
>It makes me shake uncontrollably
>Gas spills everywhere
>Ohwellman.png
>Fill her up with what's left
>Light a cigarette and feel like a good person
>Flick it out the window
>Get off and go to bar
>It's not illegal to drink in uniform where I live
>Go to tourist bar so I'm not recognized
>Tourist comes up to me
>"Officer can you give me directions to the Holiday Inn"
>Sure
>Take US-I177, exit at exit 201 and go left
>She leaves
>I drink
>Drink some more
>A lot more
>Black out
>Don't remember anything
>Wake up the next day and go to work
>Boss says that the killer arsonist we've been looking for for half a month claimed two more victims last night
>I'm gonna get this son of a bitch
